Feb 13 2009
Legalize It, All of It
If I hear one more person sigh and say, “Well, you know, with this economy. . .”, I’m seriously going to blow my brains out. My heartbeat doubles in speed daily, my palms sweat whenever I turn on the news.
Things seem to be going okay at work, but who knows when I’ll be forced to clean toilets at Starbucks and be impersonated by Tom Hanks. At the rate things are spiraling out of control, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to retire, if I can afford to send my kid off to earn her health science masters where she’ll meet a nice Jewish doctor and live happily ever after. This economy is costing me grandchildren.
And people are still saying we’ll be fine if only we had some tax cuts. Bull. An extra grand in my pocket isn’t going to do anything for me or anyone else in the country. We need new industries. Why can’t anyone in Congress realize that? We need more American products and American people to stimulate this economy. We need to legalize marijuana, prostitution, and gay marriage once and for all.
“But think of the children! Think of the children!” I am. I am concerned that our children will be living in a third-world country unless we don’t create new sources of cash flow now. You don’t want your children to smoke pot, sell their bodies, and marry that well-groomed guy from Banana Republic? Then tell them not to! The government isn’t raising my child, I am; I’ll be teaching her ethics, and I’ll be fighting my hardest to make sure she can attend the Arizona School of Health Sciences programs.
this is a useful resource